Awkwardness

“Awkwardness is a property that characterizes social situations or interactions when one or more participants find themselves lacking the guidance of a script and feel awkward as a result.”

Important Points

1. Awkwardness Is Social

Awkwardness is a property of social situations.

It takes two or more people for a situation to become awkward.

2. Awkwardness Results from the Lack of a Social Script

Most of our social interactions run off a script.

This allows us to offload much of the heavy thinking when we interact with one another.

Sometimes, situations arise where there simply is not a script for us to fall back on.

3. Awkwardness Is Not the Same Thing as Feeling Awkward

Awkwardness, as a property of social situations, can result in the feeling of awkwardness.

But that feeling is not what makes the situation awkward.

What makes the situation awkward is the lack of a social script.

Discussion Questions

1. A good definition is one that excludes related but distinct concepts. In the case of awkwardness, related but distinct concepts might include embarrassment or self-consciousness. How do embarrassment and self-consciousness differ from awkwardness? What other concepts are related to awkwardness, and does the proposed definition successfully exclude them?

2. One result of this definition is that there is no such thing as dressing awkwardly, an awkward arrangement of furniture, or an awkward physical position. Is that a bad thing? Does it disqualify this definition as a definition of awkwardness?

3. A more troubling exclusion is that, according to this definition, there are no awkward people. Is this really a problem? Does it disqualify the definition?

4. When we say that a person is awkward, even though this definition excludes that possibility, are we making a value judgment? Is an un-awkward person somehow better than an awkward person?

5. Is awkwardness an excuse for deviant social behavior of any kind? Imagine a person who acts in a manner that makes others feel uneasy, but then says, “Well, I am just an awkward person.” Does this excuse their actions?